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Price |
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Sanchez's Bitter
Despite the name, this is a Mexican import lager - but there's
no need for a slice of lime as it's sour enough already.
Got a bit of a kick to it but leaves a lingering bad taste.
Brewers blame this on the drinkers not knowing what they want
and not supporting the current product strongly enough (in spite of it being pish).
Declining sales this year after a strong spike in an award winning year in 2001.
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330ml
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£0.35
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Lord Beeks's Masonic Brew
Dark, murky ale, clear as a club press statement.
Brewery refuse to list any ingredients on bottle
because "it's none of the punters' fucking business, right",
though it is thought to involve child labour. Generously kept at the same price for the last three years
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250ml
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£14.00
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Bomber Harris Lager
On first appearences you could be forgiven for thinking this a premium strength lager.
However this is not beer. In fact this is so far removed from being beer no-one knows why it pretends to be one.
Popular with Ecuadorians but no-one else. Has been known to make you throw up.
A very long way.
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500ml
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Free
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P(issed)ARRY's Pint
No redeming features.
I would rather gargle yak's semen whilst having 'total cunt'
tattooed on my eyeballs and my scrotum staplegunned to Paul Burrell than ever touch this stuff.
To the great shame of the rest of the human race it appears that there is a whole 'family' of P. Arry ales. Bugger.
Caution: it is believed that drinking two pints of this muck will leave you feeling like you've been hit in the face with a shovel.
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500ml
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£0.27
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Vinni's Real Devon Scrumpy
Smooth and fruity, goes down great with a cream tea or a turnip casserole. But be warned, this stuff is deceptive.
You'll be spending most of the time on the floor, and when you can stagger to your feet you'll be wanting to land
a haymaker on the next senile old goat who ogles your wife's tits.
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2 gallons
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£2.49
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Danny Senda's Marlow Bender
Started out as a bitter, but has been converted to a premium session lager. Will have you getting up and down at an
alarming rate, but six of these and a whiff of skunk and you'll be ready to take them all on. Best not to drink this when
driving your car. Or anyone else's.
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330ml
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£0.99
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Dazza's Ruby Porter
Comes in a variety of brightly-coloured bottles and has been unfairly likened to Bacardi Breezers. But this stuff is the
successor to a classic '70s beer, and is probably the tastiest brew in the catalogue. The effects can be dazzling, but
it may lead to excessive dribbling and is rumoured not to travel too well.
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330ml
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£2.00
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Ferold's Vintage Brown Ale
Brewed in Northampton and not to be messed with. A big favourite with the local punters, this stuff is
phenomenally strong and just seems to get better with age.
It can have you tearing your shirt off in ecstasy, but if you tangle with this mother you will end up with a serious headache.
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330ml
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£1.49
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Rhino's Old Reliable
Another hearty Northants brew. With its distinctive thin head, this old stalwart is a beer for all occasions - any time, any place, anywhere.
You always know what to expect from this one, and it rarely lets you down. But do be careful, too much of this and your knees are likely to go.
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500ml
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£1.75
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Monkman's Marketing Ale
This northern monastic brew tastes quite similar to Georgie Graham's Greedy Grabber. It
arrived on the market amid colossal hype, but sadly failed to live up to its grandiose promises.
Some say it was too advanced for the local punters, others believe it nearly bankrupted the brewery.
Sorry - discontinued
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N/A
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N/A
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Taylor's Tamworth Stout
Another old favourite, this full-bodied classic is a drink for
real men. Smooth, strong and reassuring, this stuff will keep you up when all around you are dropping. Currently fighting off
competition from new-fangled Australian lagers, but still one of the best around and should never be written off.
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330ml
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£1.75
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Big Macca's Cork Dog
Probably the only decent beer that the Smithmeister introduced to the range. Its soft Celtic charm conceals a rock-hard
centre, this is a brew that you mess with at your peril. You can throw away your pint glasses with this one, for some unknown reason it's at its best in a Cup.
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500ml
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£1.99
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Wee Stu's Welsh Flyer
A feisty tipple from the Land of Song, comes in tiny bottles but it packs a fair old poke. The local punters were excited when
this brew was first imported from Swansea, but for some reason it has yet to establish itself in the Mexican market. It's a beer for the future, but be careful - drink this stuff
and you're unlikely to score.
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250ml
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£1.25
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Ale the Pale
Without a doubt the oldest beer on the market, despite the name this vintage knee-trembler has a bright maroon colour. Based on an ancient
Munich recipe and brewed on a remote Haddenham farm for over six centuries, two pints of this and
you'll be wittering on endlessly about red kites, spitfires, cricket and all manner of nonsense.
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330ml
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£19,500
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Simmo's Nottingham Niggler
This cheeky Midlands brew comes in half-pint cans and is phenomenally popular in the Downley area. Always gives good value and it does
have a bit of a kick to it, but it does tend to answer back and can occasionally lead to you getting barred from the boozer.
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250ml
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£1.15
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How to order
